58

Trembling, Qu Moyu drew in a sharp breath, slowly easing the palpitations of his heart which were getting more and more intense. “Which hospital?” he asked in a low voice.

'……'

'Mum, which hospital is he at?” This was the first time in his adult life admitting defeat to anyone in such a tone, even to his mother.

“Why are you making such a fuss over this? It's only a minor surgery. He's going to be fine. I've already taken care of everything after that. He’ll be compensated. There’s no need for you to concern yourself with it any longer.”

Qu Moyu clenched his teeth, restraining his anger. "Even if the mark is gone, he's still my Omega. This is a matter between the two of us. The one who shouldn't be concerned about this is you.”

"I’m doing this for your own good. You've already engaged to Xiaochu. How are you going to explain this ambiguous relationship with someone else to the Zhou family?” Mrs. Qu asked, unfazed. “Besides, do you really think he wants to see you right now?”

“I…..”

"If you just walk out at such an important engagement dinner, it would really show a lack of sincerity. The point of this marriage alliance with the Zhou family is to resolve the question of funding for the company. Must I still teach you how to weigh out your priorities?" she continued, giving her son a sideways glance. "You aren’t going to let your personal feelings cloud your judgements, are you?”

Qu Moyu was left stifled by her words. His mother was right; he should be grateful that someone had taken care of the issue of Shen Dai for him when he had been too overwhelmed to manage everything, and helped this arranged marriage to proceed smoothly. What he needed to do now was to be in the banquet hall and focus on maintaining a good relationship with the Zhou family, not impulsively seeking out Shen Dai.

This wasn’t him at all. This wasn’t the sort of foolish thing he would do. It had to be due to the mark that had just been removed; his body and mind must not have completely adjusted yet. He did care about Shen Dai, but he understood how to “weigh his priorities”.

Lowering his head slowly, the corners of his lips twitched as if he was silently enduring something: "Did you arrange for someone to take care of him?”

“Of course I did.”

“Which hospital is he at already? Give him back to me, tomorrow I’ll…”

“He’s not going to want to see you. You, too, should know your ‘place’.” Mrs. Qu's tone became stern. "The both of you were never of the same world to begin with, and now that there's absolutely no connection left, what point is there in looking for him? Play your part well, stick to your choices, isn't that the philosophy of your Qu family?”

Qu Moyu also raised his voice: “This is just a matter between him and me. Can you please stop interfering!”

“Do you dare let your father know about this?”

His expression became extremely gloomy.

Mrs. Qu turned to face the restroom mirror, adjusting her hair with her hands and carefully repositioning the priceless jade necklace around her snow-white neck.

Then, as if speaking to Qu Moyu, but seemingly also speaking to herself, she said, “Go back already. It’s what you’ve chosen.”

Shen Dai sat at the chairs in the hospital's reception area, waiting for the car arranged by Mrs Qu that would take him directly from the capital to Lancheng, more than a thousand kilometres away.

He had initially wanted to leave on his own, but Mrs. Qu had asked him to avoid public transportation because Qu Moyu would easily be able to track him down. He didn't think Qu Moyu would really come looking for him - not as if he needed to - but after learning that Mrs. Qu couldn't come to see him for fear of Qu Moyu tailing her, he decided that it was indeed better to be cautious for the sake of the child's safety.

He had indeed been very busy these past few days.

The three days following the surgery had been nothing short of a nightmare. Fastened to the operating table, he had endured agonising, excruciating pain. Although the wound had not been large, the damage to his gland had disrupted his internal circulation. Coupled with the stress from the pain, he couldn't sleep normally, was afraid to move, had constant dizziness and nausea, and threw up anything he ate. He worried constantly about the risk of miscarriage, a possibility the doctor had warned him about before the surgery.

If the child still couldn’t be saved after going through such an ordeal, it would mean that it just wasn’t written in his stars. Thankfully, under the meticulous care of the doctor, his body gradually recovered.

But the wounds on his soul would never be healed. As soon as he woke up, he could no longer sense the ebony pheromones that had once permeated his body, nor could he perceive Qu Moyu. It was as if the tightly entwined, mutually nourishing vines had been brutally stripped away, sharp barbs tearing off pieces of flesh. A part of his life had been brutally ripped away, leaving behind an immense void of faith, much deeper and more agonising than the scar on the gland at the back of his neck

Over the course of those three days, more than physical and mental pain, what tormented him the most was the loneliness that seemed to go on forever, and the sadness of facing illness alone, with no one even to pour him a cup of hot water. In the midst of such despair, he began to look forward to and depend even more on the not-yet-fully-formed child in his belly. Perhaps it was divine mercy, or perhaps sheer willpower, but after all of that, the fact that the child was still safely within him had been a stroke of luck in an otherwise unfortunate situation.

He became even more determined in his love and responsibility for this child. Reflecting on his whole life, he realised that it wasn't the child who needed him, but rather he, who needed the child.

Once his body recovered, he began to take care of household and official matters.

Despite politely declining Mrs Qu's financial assistance, he accepted her help. He still had several hundred thousand in cash which Mrs Qu helped him transfer to a trustworthy account to prevent being traced through his spending.

He bought a new mobile phone then made a long phone call to his grandmother, explaining that he had run into some issues and needed to be transferred for a year. He wouldn't be using his old WeChat anymore, and this new phone number had to be kept secret, but he would come and visit her after a while. He had expected her to have many questions, but as if sensing his evasiveness and awkwardness, she considerately refrained from probing further.

Though her voice was choked with emotion, she only urged him to take good care of himself and not to worry about her. He couldn't leave his grandmother behind, but he needed to get himself settled first before he could begin to think about bringing her over. The only thing was that the health facilities in Lancheng were far inferior to those in Beijing, so perhaps it was much better for her to stay here. Shen Qin had money now, and he naturally wouldn't neglect her, so this matter would have to wait until he had settled down over there.

He sent an email to his colleagues explaining that he needed some time off for health reasons. Not having many friends, the social relationships he needed to maintain were mostly colleagues and acquaintances from academic circles. He also called his Professor and Cheng Zimei and told them the truth: he was currently unable to return and formally resign. Since Qu Moyu had already arranged long-term leave of medical absence for him, he would let things stand as they were for the moment. Given that he wasn’t in a condition to work now, it might be better to use this time to complete his thesis.

Liu Xi sighed for a long time, but in the end still let him go to Gansu. As the mining area there belonged to the Starship Corporation, and the head of the research institute happened to be a fellow student of the professor's, who could help him not only with his daily life, but also with materials, equipment and experimental data, it was the most ideal destination at the moment.

Although Shen Dai was infinitely grateful to the Professor, he also felt an immense sense of guilt. His teacher had nurtured him for almost ten years, treating him as if he was one of his own. Leaving like this was something even he couldn't forgive himself for. He didn’t know if in the grand scheme of things, the decision he was making right now was right or wrong, worthwhile or not. From the moment he made his decision, there was no turning back; he had to go forward.

But Liu Xi didn’t have a single word of reproach for him, instead, comforting him, saying, 'You’re still young. It's normal for an academic career to have its ups and downs. As long as you don’t give up on yourself, there will always be opportunities at every juncture for achievements. Being in the same field, it’s not certain that our paths won’t cross again next time.”

Tears fell from Shen Dai's eyes as he listened, 'Professor, I swear I won't give up. I’ll go to Lancheng and help Bai-shixiong with his work. In the future, as long as it is within my capacity, I’ll be at your service.”

"Go now. You've always been very clear about what you want, with plans and follow-through. I believe you are capable of managing your own life."

The car Mrs. Qu had arranged arrived, and Shen Dai exited the hospital, suitcase in tow.

Once inside the car, Shen Dai closed his eyes and regulated his breathing for a long time, before finally gathering the courage to turn on his phone and search for the press release regarding the engagement of the successor to the Starship Corporation.

The two people in the photograph were extremely well-matched. At first glance, it was clear they were the ideal combination of top alpha and omega, with their pheromones, family backgrounds, and looks all exceptionally suited for each other. This was what would be considered normal and fitting.

A bitter smile slowly emerged on Shen Dai’s face.

He didn't know it was because Qu Moyu's mark was gone, but it was like waking up from a dream for the first time, realising at last how stupid he had been to think that Qu Moyu could return his feelings - how stupid in the extreme.

The sincerity he treasured like a precious gem was seen as nothing more than a cheap stone in the eyes of a top alpha, while his hopeless attempt to exchange it for the real deal in gold, silver, jade, and diamonds was not considered love, but greed. Thinking about how Qu Moyu had treated him, it became clear how cheap and worthless he must have seemed in his eyes.

He didn’t have the strength to love, nor did he have the strength to hate; All he wanted was to get his life which had veered off course a little back on track.